The twin cities of Cairo/Giza can only be described as utter madness.  Harboring around 21 million people, I was surprised to learn it’s the most populous city in all of Africa and the Middle East.  Immediately upon leaving the airport, it feels that way.  The rules of the road (or lack thereof) are complete chaos and essentially lawless.  Cars honk and swerve from all directions, cramming themselves into one another.  Entire families, sometimes four or five people, stack themselves on mopeds and literal horse drawn carriages can be found galloping along trucks on the mobbed freeways that make LA’s 405 seem tranquil. 

After more than an hour in traffic, we arrived at the Marriott Mena House, a pretty stunning hotel directly overlooking the Great Pyramids of Giza.  The rooms were very luxurious and spacious and the grounds are expansive, with an almost too-tight security consisting of bomb checks on vehicles and metal detectors, even for registered guests upon each entry.  Don’t bother splurging for the “Pyramid View” room, as they’re astronomically priced and views of the pyramids are everyone on the property, you don’t need one from your patio. 

We did a half-day tour of the pyramid complex (which consists of 3 large and six small pyramids, as well as the Sphinx), which offered a number of pros and cons.  Being only half-day, or 3-4 hours, the tour felt overly crammed with history and a bit rushed.  Our guide was extremely knowledgeable about Egyptian history, offering the full historic breakdown beginning around 4,000 B.C.  That being said, there could have been a happy medium between a historical lecture and actually enjoying the moment to marvel at the structures themselves.  The guide facilitated buying our entry tickets, but it was nothing we couldn’t have done ourselves quite easily.  To simply walk around the complex yourself, you might find yourself hassled by merchants as well as find a five minute van ride between pyramids a much more daunting walk in the desert.  However, you’ll certainly feel more relaxed and free to take those perfect Instagram selfies, rather than get literal snapshots from an amateur Egyptian tour guide. 

We went inside the Pyramid of Cheops for basically double the price of the normal admission, but it’s a must-do.  A claustrophobic, long stairway of two-way traffic meant for one, thrusts you upward into a small, dank chamber of solid rock that once housed a sarcophagus.  It’s very small and tight and I was literally crouched into a duck waddle for most of the climb, so avoid this if you’re big, tall, or overweight. 

Our tour included a “45 minute” camel ride, which turned into a horrible experience.  Don’t be fooled by the glamorous photos you’ll find of a beautiful woman with a flowing dress blowing in the wind as the sun, sets over the pyramids behind her.  It’s nothing like this.  In fact, after being there just the thought of such photos seems absolutely absurd and ridiculous.  A small marketplace of local merchants crowd together, pedaling trinkets and tending to their hordes of camels.  They clearly have pre-arranged agreements with the tour guides as they greet each other warmly, thankful for the endless stream of business they supply them.  You’re shuffled to a “family” and hoisted atop the huge beast and then led by a small child (no more than nine or ten years old) a few hundred yards across the sand in order to pose with the pyramids behind you.  Our particular camel merchants seemed completely unenthused and took little to no effort to even take good photos for us, literally hiding the pyramids behind the camels we were riding.  The walk/ride lasted maybe ten minutes, which was more than enough, and my girlfriend actually broke down in tears when we stopped as she learned her particular camel was bleeding from the face, rubbed raw from his too-tight harness. 

It’s a difficult situation because when we refused to tip them due to our awful experience, they became irate and caustic.  When we pointed out the open wound on the camel’s face, they aggressively and defensively shouted that they make a living from the camels, if they killed them, they would have no way to make a living.  They also pointed out the large burn/brands each camel has and informed us they’re all actually imported from Sudan in a large camel trade and well regulated.  However, not killing the animals is very different from not harming or mistreating the animals, something they simply cannot and will not understand.  As a tourist, I tried my best to realize I was a visitor in another culture, but for my girlfriend it was heartbreaking to see firsthand these cultural differences (that have undoubtedly been overly glamorized on social media).  For me, I can’t say I was surprised that a culture that views women as second-class citizens or even pieces of property cares very little for an animal rights, yet it was still depressing to see their complete lack of understanding regarding our disappointment with the experience. 

The only other thing I’ll say about the pyramids is that I imagined the pyramids to be remotely located far out in the desert.  This is not true at all.  As I mentioned, our hotel literally backed up against the complex and the reverse shot of the Sphinx would show you a bustling urban sprawl just a few hundred yards from the structure, complete with bustling city noise and air pollution.  It is, undoubtedly, a wondrous spectacle to behold, seeming almost unreal to gaze with your own eyes, but it’s far from a serene and remote experience.  Finally, the rest of the tour included a trip to a local perfume factory and stop to the papyrus factory.  It was certainly interesting, but undoubtedly another local partnership to pedal overpriced local merchandise, undoubtedly marked up horribly for tourists. 

Our next essential tourist venture was a trip to the Egyptian Museum in downtown Cairo.  Due to the traffic, it was another hour + to make the trek, but it provided a chance to see more of the frenetic and vibrant city madness, venture along the Nile river, which you cross multiple times, and travel through Tahrir Square, where the revolution of 2011 took place, before arriving at the museum.  The museum is relatively expensive (around $20-30) but well worth the price, it’s absolutely amazing.  There are giant statues, sarcophagi, papyrus scrolls, and dozens of mummies on display, including Rhamses II as well as a massive display of King Tut’s artifacts, including his famous headdress, found in his tomb.  It’s hard to take in the overwhelming amount of artifacts, and the new museum set to open in 2020 will be the largest in the world, so plan your trip to Egypt after that opens as I’m sure it will be incredible. 

Finally, despite the locals highly encouraging a tour guide (undoubtedly to support their economy more than anything), we took a taxi to the Khan Al Khalil bazaar, or marketplace.  It’s pretty massive, with seemingly endless narrow corridors of shops that offer mainly cheap clothing and various trinkets, almost entirely made in China.  Compared to the Kapali Carsi (or Grand Bazaar) in Istanbul, this market was trashy.  It’s all outdoor, for one, much more crowded, and the merchandise was of a markedly lower standard (I’ll state again, ALL made in China).  While there were small street vendors and coffee shops, they seemed uninviting if not unsafe (at night) and we frequently took turns down one-way alleys that warranted some strange and unsettling looks.  That being said, I never really felt unsafe and without a tour guide we were actually hassled very little.  I speculate if you bring a guide, you’re just drawing more attention to yourself and will most likely be brought into “trusted” stores that are actually friends with that particular guide in another effort to swindle you for marked up merchandise.  We didn’t actually buy anything, but at the advise of our cab driver, told everyone we were Canadian to avoid too high of price hikes.  Everyone had the same response, a simple, “Oh, Canada dry!” which turned into a comical metaphor for us explaining we were too cheap to spend money.  “Oh no, sorry, Canada dry,” was our response to the merchants. 

My final thoughts on my Egypt experience are that it is a wild, vibrant, and ancient place ripe with history, conflict and culture.  While it’s mainly Arab influenced, it’s still Africa and should be regarded as such.  Poverty, pollution and noise are everywhere in Cairo.  Conversely, the people have a strong sense of history, tradition, and pride.  While I wouldn’t call most people overwhelmingly friendly, that’s to be expected in a place that relies on foreign money to survive, and many people were incredibly nice and genuinely interested to learn why we came to visit.  The pyramids are magnificent to behold, even amidst the madness, but I hope people adventurous enough to make the trek are also respectful enough to understand the culture before visiting, to understand the truths about Egypt, both good and bad.  If I’m being honest, for me, it was a place I’m happy to have seen but probably a place I’m not overwhelmingly eager to return.