This morning I awoke and found myself, like many other mornings, aimlessly scrolling and swiping through the endless news feed of Instagram. A familiar feeling overcame me, or, a question rather…why the hell was I doing this? Furthermore, why are any of us doing it, and why the hell does it consume so much of our daily lives? How many literal Earth hours have I utterly wasted, scrolling through an endless stream of utter fecal matter? Whether it’s Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tinder, Bumble, Netflix or whatever else people binge on daily, my point is, we’ve become what I call, a “Swipe-Right Society.” In short, don’t be surprised if very soon we’re swiping, not wiping our asses.

What’s most shocking to me is how little I care about what I’m ingesting on the daily. I’m a moderately social guy, let’s say average (whatever that is), and consider myself to have more than enough friends. *let’s give me a like for positive self esteem, huh!? In fact, there’s probably quite a few “friends,” or “followers,” that should be cut loose for flat out not pulling their ‘relationship weight,’ but that’s another rant. That being said, I really don’t care what picture you put up today, filtering to me your happiest and most artistic side. I have no interest in reading your political opinion piece or shared article that was trending today. I don’t care about anyone’s news feed or top stories. Fuck E! Fuck Extra. Fuck gossip magazines. I don’t care about any of that shit, and I’m willing to bet a lot of you really don’t care much either. So why is it consuming everyone? Why does anyone care about the Kardashians!? Honestly, I don’t get it.

So many people tune into and follow people that claim to make a living by sharing their ideal life of glamour, travel, fine dining, or whatever they’re marketing to you. People seem to yearn for a more exciting life, as they detach more and more from the true reality around them. I fear we’ve become little more than lemmings…these were once solid computer graphics, btw.

I’m not trying to bash on the greater majority of you out there that undoubtedly are taking this personally, because, honestly, why wouldn’t someone’s general critique on society be a personal attack on your personal character and life choices? I’m simply making an observation and asking those brave souls that were patient enough to scroll this far (phew a scroll, and not a swipe…wait, in this context it’s the same thing…damn!) to open their eyes a little wider and ask yourselves if all these smoke and mirrors are actually adding or subtracting from your life.  “I am Jack’s inflamed sense of rejection.” – Fight Club

I had lunch today with a friend. Neither of us checked our phones once. It was nice. I’d almost forgotten that could exist in this day and age. Put your God damned phone down once in a while before life swipes left on you, and while you’re at it, eat some fucking gluten, it’s delicious.