Everyone should think much bigger than they currently are, in terms of their travel goals. Absolutely everyone should leave the country, gain some perspective and actually develop some sort of worldview for himself or herself. For more on the importance of international travel, you’ll find an interesting, likeminded view here (with actual links, resources and research applied…thanks, I was way too lazy for that!).

But, I get it, going abroad just isn’t everyone’s bag, baby.  Most people, however, list travel as one of their ‘Top 10’ hobbies.* So, for those of you stuck in the States, why the gross neglect to travel and explore, even within your own state or region?  You don’t have to go far to see new things, uncover “hidden” gems, and feel something exciting and different than what’s inside your personal space bubble.

 

I admit that I’m guilty too. There are tons of things I’ve shamefully never done despite their close proximity. Here’s a few:

1. Been to Alcatraz (cool enough for Connery, cool enough for me!)
2. Walked across the Golden Gate Bridge (not terribly convenient)
3. Seen Joshua Tree National Park (I’m finally going in May)
4. Hiked Half Dome in Yosemite (people die, but they’re dumb, right?)
5. Gone Whale Watching (no guarantee you spot them)
6. Gone Scuba Diving (how can you trust breathing underwater?)

That’s a short list, but my point is, with everyone always clamoring about what to do and where to go, maybe we should all spend more time actually motivating our fat asses to see and do the shit we’ve never seen or done, because most of it isn’t more than a few hours away (or less). There’s always an excuse, see mine above, but that’s no excuse. In short, try not to suck.

It’s both a blessing and a curse that nothing is private anymore. Since this is Ironic Blog, let’s focus on the irony of articles you’ll find floating around the net, like; “15 hidden gems of San Francisco,” or “Best-kept secrets of New York City, what you never thought you’d see.” Newsflash idiots, they’re no longer secret if you’re blasting them out on the Internet, or found out about them in the first place. But I won’t pretend I’m not at least a little bit happy, because it’s expanding people’s viewpoints and desire to see more of the world around them (even if, upon arrival, they completely retreat into their phones, priority #1 their IG story). More irony, I love it!

The sheer number of people that have never even left their home state is sickening. Even sadder though, is the number of people that haven’t even left their own city, or rarely do so. Sure, some people don’t have the money or they work three jobs, or whatever…but most people…just kinda suck, don’t they? If you’re suffering from JKS (just kinda sucking), then hopefully this will be that kick in the pants you’ve been looking for.

 

First, let’s try some generalizations using negative reinforcement:

 

1. If you live in Arizona and have never been to the Grand Canyon…you suck.
2. If you live in California and have never been to Lake Tahoe or Yosemite…you suck.
3. If you’re from Colorado and don’t know how to ski or snowboard…c’mon man, you suck.
4. If you’ve never been on an airplane…you’re probably below the poverty line and for that I’m sorry, but if not…you definitely suck.
5. If you think a thirty-minute drive is, “too far,” you suck!

It’s ok, even I suck sometimes, but I’m trying not to, and so should you.

 

Now, how about some positive reinforcement for all you avid readers:

 

1. If you’ve been on a non-work-related flight in the past month, bravo, you get a “like.” **
2. If you find this article true or amusing in any way, you get a “like.”
3. If you comment below, even if it’s stupid, lame, or unoriginal…fuck it, you get a “like.”

 

 

* Research according to absolutely no one. Based on zero data, simply known as truth beyond a reasonable doubt, by this site’s brightest and only author, me.

**   By ‘like’ you are entitled to absolutely zero fucks given by myself, or anyone else related to, affiliated with, in connection, circumventing, or impersonating Ironic Blog or of any close resemblance to, the actions, thoughts, opinions, mindsets, beliefs, or anything other relating to Ironic Blog.