I’ve lived in LA for over ten years now, so while it will never be ‘home’ like northern California, I have considered myself a local for some time. It’s sad, but it gets a bad rap for so many reasons. Most are partially, if not completely true but almost always overblown. Is the traffic unbearable? Usually, but if you avoid driving between the hours of 3-7PM like me, you’re usually okay. (Ah, the luxurious life of unemployme…er…blogging). Are the people all fake? Often, but there’s more fun, outgoing, and creative people who are usually super friendly because they’re praying you’re the one who just might make their career some day. One thing I do know, despite the plague of hipsters in Silverlake and Abbott Kinney, there’s definitely no shortage of things to do and see in Los Angeles. So here’s a recap of my trendy Monday, and how to properly get shit done in the city of angels.

 

10:00AM – Rise and Shine

Give a stretch and a yawn, hit the snooze for another ten minutes, but then get moving because that ‘spec script’ isn’t going to write itself. Oh wait, little brother-in-law is still visiting and those d-bags at Happy Place and Candytopia both cancelled last Friday, but have no fear, there are still plenty of spots to salvage some good IG stories, and there’s no better day than a Monday in LA. Breakfast? Don’t be ridiculous, it’s all part of the LA diet, and only losers don’t do ‘Brunch.’

11:30AM – Leave Playa Vista

After completing my hip, casual outfit (jeans, running shoes, a funky old sweatshirt, and my see-through stunner shades), we’re off. Thankfully little bro is driving, so with a chauffeur I don’t mind the traffic, which yes, is always there. Must be the lunch rush, so thirty minutes later we hit our hot spot in K-Town.

 

12:00PM – Park and ready for Brunch

So we’re a little late, and it’s Monday, so they call it Lunch (whatever). We stroll into the Pot Commissary Café.  Click the link, and go to Commissary.  The atmosphere is great; an urban greenhouse with tons of beautiful plants and an eclectic setting of French fashion meets Industrial chic. Upon arrival we get our snaps, because it’s Monday, the crowd is small, and that’s our top priority anyway. After being seated, our server informs my bro he can only use his phone, not his DSLR to take pictures, because some people actually “pay to do photo shoots here.” Guess he didn’t get the memo that I upgraded to the iPhone X and my pics are perfectly bloggable for free.

1:15PM – Depart and make for Downtown

Honest review of the Commissary, the atmosphere was more exciting than the food. The menu looked promising, and my Turkey Club was good, but that third layer of bread is just always so unnecessary, especially with my side of fries. My girlfriend’s Broccolini Rice Bowl Power Lunch with side of Chicken Confit was a much more appropriate order, and more appropriately complex to both look at and taste.  See ‘food porn’ below…impressive pickle:

It’s overpriced, good but not great, but a perfect spot to be hip, trendy, and embrace the atmosphere of being an LA local. Think I’ve turned around the luck for little bro? Nope, we’ve parked in a well-hidden ‘Bus Zone,’ and are slapped with a $68 parking ticket. I should have known when I saw this mural in front of our parking spot, they’re always watching.

1:25PM – Park it Downtown

We get lucky and find a spot directly outside the Walt Disney Concert Hall, with a free 36 minutes on the meter, more than what we need, but I still pump it up to two hours, desperate we only get one ticket today. We snap some architectural photographic masterpieces and march up the stairs to the relatively unknown and secret Blue Ribbon Garden. It’s worth the venture mainly for the pictures, or to find a tranquil spot amidst the madness. There were only a dozen other people there with the same idea, but so few they could easily be framed out of all my pics, because let’s be honest, you can’t have a picture anymore that doesn’t seem like you’re the only person on the planet to ‘find’ your perfect photo-op locale.

1:55PM – Back in the car to drive 0.7 miles

After regretting feeding the meter any more, we obviously decide to drive to our next stop, The Last Bookstore, which is just over a half mile away.

Downtown parking sucks, so there’s no way out of it, you pay the $10-15 to avoid that grueling walk. It’s already 2PM and we have more to see before the traffic gets real. It’s definitely worth checking out, but I wouldn’t drive all the way downtown just to go here, so make it a stop on your Downtown multitasking trip. To do it proper, you could spend all day here to check out the massively huge collection of eccentric books and local art installations, found upstairs. However, you’re probably just here for the pics and geotag as well, so grab a few snaps and hurry up and get trending!

2:50PM – “Hiking” up to the Hollywood Sign

Shockingly, I’ve never actually gone up to the Hollywood Sign. I guess it just felt like that one stupid touristy thing I never could get the courage to do without wanting to punch myself in the face…but bro doesn’t live here, he’s determined, and today I’m on board. After a fairly easy navigation up Beachwood Drive, navigate your way through the neighborhood, following the white signs that say, Road Closed in 1 mile – Local Access Only. Keep trucking to the top of the hill and you’re there, barging through a little walk-up gate onto the beautiful dry dirt patch right below the Hollywood Sign. I guess in a weird way you feel proud that you’ve made it, but it’s even uglier than you’d imagined, the cityscape vista is sprawling but equally unflattering, and you’re surrounded by swarms of other trending bloggers and C list celebs, model wannabes and soon-to-be famous dogs (in our case, a black French Bulldog complete with five man camera team, stedicam rig and all). Again, I wanted to punch myself in the face. We didn’t linger, we captured our shots and got out of dodge, content to never come back but know that we know the way to get there should the compelling urge arise again (it won’t!).

4:05PM – Depart Hollywood in perfect rush-hour fashion

Since I wasn’t driving, I didn’t have a care in the world. We zigzagged our way back to the South Bay, taking side streets past Paramount Pictures to get a few more iconic palm tree pics for bro. We snuck in the backdoor path of La Brea, which surprisingly wasn’t that busy, and ventured to our final destination just in time for the last lingering moments of an Inglewood sunset.

 

5:15PM – Spoil Dinner with Randy’s Doughnuts

Surprisingly my little bro had never been here, so being practically in my backyard, I knew we had to conclude the day with a couple Old Fashioned, a Glazed Twist, and our last iconic pics of a successful Monday. What’s that? There’s an airplane in my doughnut? Don’t be jelly.

5:55PM – Home Sweet Home

Back to Playa before six with a handful of iconic spots off the bucket list, that’s how you get shit done in LA on a Monday.